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What level of openness should you be trying to reach with a girl?
There?s a great book out there called ?Radical Honesty.? In this book the author talks about how he just started to feel more alignment with his life and a greater sense of joy; and the various stresses that he was carrying with him throughout his life just began to dissolve when he started to take honesty to a whole new level.
The level that we are talking about here was when he reached a point where he would communicate to his wife the feelings that he held for his wife?s sister, and the things that he wanted to do to his wife?s sister.
That is a completely new level of honesty for most people. Because the author and his wife had been exploring this concept of Radical Honesty together, they were able to process that information and take it for what it is worth. The result was that it was actually able to strengthen their relationship.
I think it is up to each relationship and each individual to work out what level of honesty is going to be appropriate for him or her. I think the thing I have always focused on within my relationships is that when we make a commitment to each other we are not choosing to make a commitment forever. I realize you probably think of the concept of marriage as a lifetime binding, but this is from my own personal perspective.
I think to make a commitment that far down the road when both of us are unaware of so many variables in the world or within each other as people is a little disingenuous. It is naive.
My focus on honesty is more in these terms: if at any point either of us feels like we are struggling in the relationship, let us just bring it up and communicate it. There is no value to anyone if we choose to stay in a relationship that is not going to empower the both of us. My ultimate goal when I am in a relationship is to have fun, to feel a connection, and I want to be showered and in turn shower her, with affection.
But probably my biggest goal when I get into a relationship is to learn something from the other person. I want to be able to see the world through a different set of eyes, and vice versa. I want us to play a key role in each others? experiences. We assist each other in the process of growing. Now, if one of us is no longer feeling that the relationship is going to be beneficial, that process starts to fade away.
I think honesty is a great starting point for building a relationship, but it is also a good starting point for staying in a relationship, and finally, if the time is right, it is the only real option for ending any relationship.
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Category: Articles, Conversation with women, Dating Tips, Relationship advice
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